INTRODUCTION

Making a decision regarding whether to place a child for adoption is probably the most difficult decision a person will face in his or her lifetime. Unfortunately that decision is generally made at a very traumatic and emotional time in a person's life, a time when rationally considering all of the ramifications of that decision is very difficult.

1. WHAT ARE YOUR DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS FOR YOUR CHILD?

It is important to consider what is best for the child, not just what is best for the mother and/or father of the child. True love for a child considers first the child’s welfare.

2. WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER TO BE YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES TOWARDS YOUR CHILD?

There are certain innate responsibilities that a parent has in giving birth to a child such as teaching and training a child, giving him a stabile, loving home, building his self-esteem, etc. It is necessary to consider what those are before deciding what is best for the child.

3. WHAT SUPPORT DO YOU HAVE FROM YOUR FAMILY?

The extended family can be a major factor in a child's life. We are often very influenced by the people who surround us. The attitudes of those people greatly influence us.

4. WHAT INVOLVEMENT DOES THE FATHER OF THE CHILD WISH TO HAVE WITH THE CHILD?

Legally the father of the child has the right to be involved in decisions regarding the child. A father's input in the life of a child is very important.

5. WHAT ATTITUDE DOES THE FAMILY OF THE FATHER HAVE?

The father's family can be a major influence on the life of a child, and a major support for the mother.

6. IF YOU DECIDE TO KEEP YOUR BABY, WHAT PROVISIONS HAVE YOU MADE FOR CHILDCARE?

Many responsibilities go along with parenting. It is helpful to plan ahead.

7. WHAT ARE YOUR OWN GOALS AND OBJECTIVES FOR YOUR LIFE?

Consider what you'll be doing in one year, five years, and ten years. Consider the impact of a child on those plans.

8. IF YOU KEEP YOUR CHILD, WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR SCHOOL AND FOR WORK?

There are many educational opportunities available for you during and after your pregnancy. It may be helpful to check these out in advance.

9. WHAT FINANCIAL RESOURCES DO YOU HAVE?

According to the November 12, 1991 issue of the Los Angeles Times, the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 years of age will range from $131,170-$233,400.

10. IF YOU DECIDE TO PLACE YOUR CHILD FOR ADOPTION, WHICH TYPE OF ADOPTION WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

In an Independent Adoption, you choose the adoptive parents with the assistance of an attorney. The state social service agency monitors the adoptive parents with the baby for approximately six months to ensure that the placement is in the best interests of the baby before the adoption is final. In an Agency Adoption, the agency handles the adoption although you can be involved in selecting the adoptive parents.

11. WHAT IS THE IDEAL FAMILY FOR THE CHILD?

You may wish to make a list of all of the qualities and characteristics that you desire in the adoptive family, including siblings, extended family, age of parents, occupations, etc..

12. WHAT SOCIO-ECONOMIC ENVIRONMENT DO YOU WISH FOR THE CHILD?

Would you like your child to be raised in a family with a high or middle income? Consider geographically where you would like the child to be reared. You may wish to discuss with the adoptive parents what their goals and aspirations are for the child.

13. WHAT FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE DO YOU NEED DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?

In California in an Independent Adoption, the adoptive parents can pay for all maternity related expenses including health care costs, counseling expenses, maternity clothes, legal costs, living expenses during the pregnancy, etc..

14. DO YOU WISH THE ADOPTIVE PARENTS TO HAVE CERTAIN RELIGIOUS BELIEFS?

It is important to consider what moral and/or religious beliefs you would like your child to be exposed to. Consider whether you should request that the child be raised in a certain church.

15. WHAT DO YOU WISH THE CHILD TO BE TOLD ABOUT YOU?

You may wish to give the adoptive parents input regarding when and how the child will be told about his/her birth parents. You may wish to write the child a letter, give the child a photograph or send something special for the child which is precious to you.

16. DO YOU WISH TO SEE THE BABY IN THE HOSPITAL?

If you are planning to place your child for adoption, most hospitals have alternatives to being in the obstetrics unit at the hospital. You should tell your doctor whether you would like to see your baby.

17. DO YOU WISH TO MEET YOUR CHILD IN THE FUTURE?

Although in California, you cannot require the adoptive parents to carry out your wishes, it is important to discuss these issues with the adoptive parents.

18. DO YOU HAVE A COUNSELOR WHO CAN ASSIST YOU EMOTIONALLY IN MAKING YOUR DECISION?

It is critical to have professional help before and after you make your decision. There are many counselors who specialize in this field and have lots of experience to assist you.

19. IS YOUR DECISION BASED UPON GUILT, FEAR, OR YOUR INADEQUACIES OR IS IT BASED UPON LOVE?

When a person makes a decision for the right reasons, her decision will be based on internalized values, not external opinions. Her deepest convictions which focus on her love for her unborn child should be the foundation from which she makes a decision.

20. WHAT WOULD GOD HAVE YOU DO?

If you are a Christian, it is important to pray about your decision and seek God's Will for your life and the life of your child. God will work through the child he has created to affect you and the countless others whose lives the child touches, even though the pregnancy may be unplanned.