ENCOURAGING YOUR TEAM

Every Human Being
(yes, including me!) "Hits a few bumps in the road," has a "blue day" here and there, and occasionally a "bad hair day." Encouraging Your Team is designed to bring you encouragement in these predictable valleys.

If I were your mentor
I were your grandfather, father, brother, uncle, friend, or mentor, and you came to me in one of life's predictable valleys, the wisdom found in this section is precisely what I would give you.

Read It ... As You Need It!
You don't need to read Encouraging Your Team like a novel. Turn to the subject that fits your situation and you will find a fresh perspective on your pressures.

40,000 hours have proven these principles
Since 1976 I have invested approximately 40,000 hours in helping successful executives work their way out of life's predictable valleys. These principles have brought perspective and encouragement time and time again.

Specialize in Being an Encourager
You are most likely a very encouraging person. I encourage you to consider making encouraging others one of your life missions.

If you find Encouraging Your Team helpful, please tell as many leaders as you care to about this section of the web site! Encouraging Your Team is available in hard copy very reasonably priced to make it possible for you to give them freely to anyone you see who needs a fresh encouraging perspective in one of life's predictable valleys.



DOUBLE CLICK ON THE WORD BELOW ... IF YOU ... OR, A TEAM MEMBER IS FEELING ...





WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS JUST PLAIN CRANKY?

Fatigue is typically what makes us cranky. Get as much rest as possible as soon as you can (you may need a new mattress). Everything seems far easier when you are rested. Even a quick nap can be helpful. Whenever I get cranky I try to avoid being in public (go for a walk, stay in my room, just be by myself ) until I regain a positive perspective. I upset others less if I wait until I am positive enough to be with others. If you find yourself in serious emotional depression, call a friend ... even in another location ... and say, "I'm way beyond cranky. I'm at the end of my rope." Having someone else to talk with, cry with, pray with, meet with, is often very helpful. You may also want to check with your doctor for any medical situation or chemical imbalance.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS DISCOURAGED?

Human beings often feel remorse over a decision or action. We "second guess" ourselves. When you focus on what's going wrong in your life you feel more and more discouraged. When you focus on what is going right in your life you feel more and more encouraged. Focus on (make a list of) what is going right in your life. Make a list of progress steps you have made in the last year. You may even want to make a list of everything that has gone right for you in your entire life so far. Bottom line, focusing on what is going right for you today and in the past is one of the very best ways of encouraging yourself. If you feel discouraged or deeply depressed for no reason and the feelings continue, it would be wise to see your medical doctor.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS DISILLUSIONED?

To be disillusioned, one must first have an illusion. When our illusion bubble breaks it is emotionally very painful. It causes us to feel disillusioned. What illusion bubble has burst for you? Be thankful you are no longer building your life on what you now know was an illusion. Once your illusion is gone you can see reality far more clearly. Starting today, build your life on the bedrock of truth not the thin air of illusion. It is also important to get outside and do something, if possible, to get your mind focused on the future more than the past.





WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS DISORGANIZED?

To feel organized you need "a place for everything and everything in its place." To feel organized you need four things:
        1. A FILING SYSTEM
        2. A "TO DO" LIST
        3. AN ADDRESS BOOK
        4. A CALENDAR
You can use the newest generation of personal organizer, the most sophisticated new laptop computer, or a simple 3" x 5" card. Just find what works for you and do it!


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS DOUBTFUL?


Make a list of what you believe in and trust in your heart-of-hearts ... developing, refining, adding to this list over time lets you gradually define more and more of your core beliefs. And, you will find like Tom Skinner, "It's a great relief."


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS DROWNING IN DEBT?

        When your OUTGO ...
        exceeds your INCOME ...
        your UPKEEP ...
        will be your DOWNFALL!
    
To get out of debt focus on finding ways of reducing your expenses, especially your fixed monthly overhead. Then, try hard to find ways of increasing your income. As simple as it sounds, if you can reduce expenses and increase income at the same time, you will make major progress on eliminating your debt and reducing the financial pressure you feel.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING DUMB (stupid)?

It has been said that, "Perspective is worth 50 I.Q. points." One who may appear smarter than you on an I.Q. test may not be as wise as you in life's practical situations. There is a big difference between being "classroom smart" and being "street smart." You may be street smart, but not be academic. Both are smart, but different. Peter Jennings, George Gershwin, and Will Rogers ... never finished high school. Just because some insensitive person called you "dumb" when you were a child ... doesn't mean you were / are! Letting this booklet, other books, and the wisdom of others keep giving you perspective ... is a very wise decision.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING (LIKE A) FAILURE?


Failure can feel absolutely devastating. The fear of failure can be almost as painful as actually failing. Failure means different things to different people. When they fail ...

        1. Some fear they are no longer the hero ... they need to be ADMIRED!
        2. Others feel inadequate ... they need to be APPRECIATED!
        3. Others wonder if they are fully adult ... they need to have RESPECT!

If you struggle with the fear of failure and want to understand the childhood root cause of your phobic fear and learn how to overcome it, read and apply the principles found in the book Why You Do What You Do. To order call 1 800 443 1976.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FATIGUED?

    Coach Vince Lombardi had a sign made up for the Green Bay Packers, which read,

        "Fatigue makes cowards of us all."

Fatigue also turns us introspective and negative. Fatigue makes us question and doubt ourselves in areas in which we are very confident when rested. Tasks that seem easy when we are rested seem almost impossible when we are fatigued. Try to avoid making any major decision when you are feeling fatigued. Fatigue can be emotional weariness as well as physical weariness. Either way, before natural confidence returns, what is needed is deep rest. GET SOME REST!




WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING IGNORED?

When you feel ignored you want someone to see you not just for the role you play, the service you give, or your athletic performance. You are really hoping someone will see the real you in your heart-of-hearts. Relate to needy people: visit a prisoner, an elderly person in a retirement center, a child. As you focus on others, they will begin to see your heart, and you will no longer feel ignored. You may want to ask those close to you to call you by your first name or even a positive pet name.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING INSECURE?

The first way to feel more secure is to focus on getting things under control. Whenever things are out of control, we tend to feel insecure. Focus on restoring a healthy and appropriate control (see "Out of Control") and your feelings of security will increase. Secondly, focus on your strengths. What do you do best in life? What do you consider your "single greatest strength"? Focusing on your strengths increases your sense of security! Focus 85% of your time on your strengths and 15% of your time on your growth areas. Thirdly, confidence is a by-product of predictability. Focus today on most positive and predictable areas of your life. Your confidence and sense of security will both grow.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING INSIGNIFICANT?

The feeling of significance comes from making a difference. Define the difference you really want to make in life. Ask yourself, "If I could only accomplish 3 measurable things some time before I die, what would I most want to accomplish?" Make a list of any and all steps of progress you make in these directions. Each and every step you make will reassure you that you are making a significant difference. And, it is important for you to remember that your contribution is significant, whether anyone else sees or cares what you have done! You may want to make a complete list of all the significant milestones you have accomplished so far in life.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING LONELY?

Not all loneliness is social. In what areas of life are you lonely (Socially, financially, spiritually, physically, professionally)? Loneliness is not just being alone. You can be alone and not be lonely, or you can be very lonely in the middle of a large crowd of people. You probably have many friends and family members who are just not with you right now. It is often encouraging just to remember that you still have many friends who are currently somewhere else. Make a list of your "life-long friends," regardless of where they are at this moment. You may also want to give one of your friends a call or drop them a note.

WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING MEDIOCRE?

Investing 60% of your time in a project does not guarantee its success. But investing less than 60% of your time in a project guarantees its mediocrity. I didn't say it guarantees failure. Your project may even be successful. But the projects are only mediocre compared to what they could be if you were to focus 60% of your time, energy, and money on one project. Make a list of your current projects. Identify the one project that is worthy of 60% of your time. Let the rest of your projects get mediocre results in order to achieve excellence in your top priority project.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING NEGATIVE?

Focus on whatever is right and positive in life. Don't allow yourself to dwell on the negative parts of your life. Was the family you grew up in typically positive or negative in their comments, approach to life, or view of you? Even if you grew up in a very negative family, you can learn to be more positive by simply keeping focused day after day on what's going right, the positive side of things, the "half full glass." It may take several years but you can learn to use your analytical skills to see what is right with a person or situation instead of just focusing on what is wrong. Make a list of all of the positive things you can think of about the person you are frustrated with or situation you find yourself in today. Starting today, you can become a positive person for the rest of your life!


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING OUT OF BALANCE?

Life imbalance is typically the result of the lack of balanced scheduling. You can control your scheduling. Therefore, you create balance in your life by what you allow to be scheduled. Schedule your activities (family vacations, long weekends, rest times, planning retreats, key meetings, conventions, etc.) several months ... even a year ... in advance. You will be proactive in controlling your life and not just reacting to other people's requests for (or demands on) your time. Realistically, we can't always control our schedules in some seasons of life. You will be out of balance occasionally. But keep proactive in scheduling balance / breaks back into your life. You are proactive not reactive.



WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING OUT OF CONTROL?

    More of your life is under control than it feels like right now. Answer these 5 questions:
        1. What areas of my life are settled down for 5 years or more? (Make a list)
        2. What areas of my life are settled for 1 year or more? (Make a list)
        3. What areas of my life are settled for 1 month? (Make a list)
        4. What areas of my life are settled for 1 week? (Make a list)
        5. What areas of my life feel completely out of control? (Make a list)
    Get one of the areas from list number 5 "under control"... no matter how small ... today!


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS OUT OF FOCUS?

Lack of focus typically results from having far too many things on our "To Do" list. First, ask yourself, "If I could only accomplish one goal, solve one problem, or seize one opportunity in the next 12 months, what would it be?" Focus 60% of your time here. Secondly, ask the Steve Douglass, Executive Vice President of Campus Crusade for Christ, question, "What 3 things could I do in the next 90 days to make a 50% difference by the end of the year?" Then ask yourself, "If I could only complete 1-3 things this week, what would they be?" Then, "If I could only do 1-3 things today what would I do?" When you answer these 4 profoundly simple questions you have more focus than most adults alive in the world today.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING OVERWHELMED?

Before you go to bed tonight, make a complete list of everything you have to do, want to do, should do, ought to do ... without planning to do any of these tasks today. Get as much rest as you possibly can. Go to bed early if possible. Sleep in if possible. When you wake up put off everything you can. Mark those items on your list that must be done. Focus on any one of these "must do" items and get as much done as you can. Also, make a list of the things you actually get done. Just having a list of milestones is always encouraging.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING NERVOUS?

All social fear is actually self-focus. When you focus on others and their needs more than on how you look, your fear will be drastically reduced. This is true if you are giving a speech, meeting a new person, attending a meeting, or on your way to a party. Remind yourself of how much you really care for (love) the person or audience you are nervous about, and in many cases your fear will go completely away. You may still feel the excited adrenaline rush about your encounter but the nervousness will be drastically reduced.

WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING PRESSURED?

Feeling pressure typically comes from having far more things to do than you can possibly get done. Separate what you would like to do and what it would be nice to do from what you have to do, and what you cannot not do. Postpone whatever you can for as long as you can. Then concentrate on one item at a time, not trying to do everything at once.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING REJECTED?

Rejection is extremely painful. If you fear rejection from another person, it is important to realize that as a human being you are worthy of love even if you don't perform perfectly. If you fear rejection from a group, it is important for you to realize that you are now an adult. You are no longer a child. The friends you are afraid may reject you today are not your childhood schoolmates. Don't forget (make a list) the people in your life you have known for years who have not rejected you. They still accept you, love you, like you!


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING RESENTFUL?

You cannot be truly thankful for something and resent it at the very same time. Ask yourself what valuable life lesson you have learned from the situation or person you have been resenting. The more you are thankful for this person or situation the less you will experience the energy evaporating emotion of resentment. Also, if you have a less than perfect relationship with one or both of your parents ... if you are still somewhat resentful toward them ... in your mind and heart always think of your parents by their first names.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING STRESSED?

    As high as 85% of the stress we feel in life is caused by one of two situations:
        1. indecision, or
        2. lack of control
Now focus your attention on 2 very specific questions. What 3 decisions do I most need to make? What 3 areas feel most out of control? When deciding, remember Dr. Peter F. Drucker's wisdom, "Once the facts are clear ... the decisions jump out at you." Dig out the facts and your decisions will be far more obvious. When regaining control review the "Out of Control" section.




WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS "STUCK IN A RUT"?

Do you feel stagnant, insignificant, trapped, or just plain stuck in a rut? "If you could do anything you wanted, if God told you that you were free to choose, if you had all the time, energy, money, staff, and education you needed, and you knew you could not fail, what would you do?"* Once you come to a clear answer to this question begin taking "baby steps" in that direction.

* This question, first asked me by Dr. Bob Walker, has been taken from the Brain Storming section of the Asking To Win! booklet available by calling 1 800 443 1976.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING TRAPPED?

If you are feeling trapped at work, or in life, there are three specific steps that can help:

        1. Keep a growing list of the life lessons
                you are learning during this "trapped" phase of your life.
        2. Set aside one hour a day (or so) to take small steps out of your trap.
        3. Talk with your wisest and most trusted friend
                and ask her/his perspective on your situation.

Also, remember to keep focused on the small things that are going right in your life even though a large part of your life still feels very "trapped."


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING UNCREATIVE?

    Everyone is creative!

Some people create (original creativity) starting from a blank sheet of paper. Others create (adaptive creativity) adapting from models that have been proven successful for others. The adaptive creator takes the best pieces from a variety of places and combines them into something that is better than any of the previous models. Regardless of which way you create ... you are creative! Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Just create the way you create naturally.

    Your way of creating is A-OK!





WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING UNDISCIPLINED?

When you are feeling undisciplined (a very very common feeling) lack of discipline is not your real problem ... it is your lack of motivation. For example, the self-discipline of waking up early and getting ready for school may be a problem for your children ... except on Disneyland day ... right? When you are motivated, discipline is never the problem. Instead of "forcing yourself " to be more disciplined focus on setting clear inspiring priorities for the future. Increased self-discipline will be an automatic by-product.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING UNLOVED?

Ask yourself three questions:

        1. Am I actually unloved?
        2. Am I just feeling unloved?
        3. Am I feeling unworthy of love?

If you are a perfectionist you need to remember that you have people in your life who love you deeply and unconditionally. But, if you are feeling unworthy of love this is probably a phobic fear from your childhood that you are not worthy of love unless you perform perfectly. The Why You Do What You Do book covers this phobic fear in detail. It is available at 1 800 443 1976. Make a list of the people in your life ... living anywhere in the world ... that you are convinced love you, regardless of how you feel at the moment. Call them and tell them how much you love them.


WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING UNMOTIVATED?

Are you are feeling unmotivated, flat, low on energy, or "lost" in life's forest? Nothing motivates like results! Set aside some time to define clearly what results you want to achieve. If you are achieving the right results, you will feel motivated. If you are not seeing results, you will feel listless and unmotivated. The same is true of your team's morale. If your team is seeing the results they want to see, morale will be high. If not, morale will always be low. Focus on defining and achieving results!



WHAT IF A MEMBER OF MY TEAM IS FEELING VICTIMIZED?

When you feel misused, abused, or taken advantage of, you may be seeing yourself as a victim. When we are victimized, we can focus on the wrong another person has done to us. This path is negative and destructive. When we focus here, it will keep us focused on the past, and will eventually turn us into very bitter, negative, fearful people. Or, we can look for the "life lessons" we learned as a result of the wrong someone has done us. This path is positive and constructive. It lets the wound heal, and we can move beyond the past and into the future. See yourself as God's student, not life's victim.


CONCLUSION

Read it ... as you need it!

Remember, you don't need to read Encouragement like a novel. Just turn to the subject(s) that
fit your situation to quickly regain a fresh encouraging perspective. When a friend comes to you for advice turn to the subject(s) that fits her/his situation and offer a fresh encouraging perspective.

Current facts and fashions become quickly outdated but these principles can be helpful to
your grandchildren 100 years from today.
Encouragement can give you a fresh encouraging
perspective 24 x 7 x 365 x Life!